Two weeks post-op

Cadence has got her groove back! Two weeks post-op for her cleft lip repair and she is her usual ornery, happy, silly little self! Albeit with a much smaller smile, but it's beautiful and we are happy to be done with surgeries for a few years. Honestly, I had a really difficult time with the whole transition. She just didn't look like herself. Everyone kept saying how great her lip looked and what a good job the surgeon had done... logically I knew this to be true. But where was the little girl that I met in China just 4 months ago? Understandably her personality was a little "off" too. She was uncomfortable, her lip hurt, and I'm sure she was wondering "What happened to my mouth and why does it feel funny?". I think this, along with the physical change, just shook me up a little and made it feel like we were meeting all over again. In the midst of my feelings of guilt about the way I was processing it all I talked to another mom whose son had surgery for his cleft lip after he got home from China. I was so relieved to know that I wasn't alone or a terrible mom for having to adjust to the newness. I am so happy to have Cadence back to her usual self and smiling her "new" beautiful smile!

To Thine Own Self Be True.

From the moment I heard the words "It's a girl" I have had a slightly gut wrenching angst about the fact that... it's a girl. Three to be exact. They are children now, but they are growing fast and soon there will be all of the drama that comes with being a girl. Yes, boys have it hard too - but I've been a girl my whole life ;-) and I know just how hard it can be. I also know that as my girls grow up I will tell them that "I know how hard it is to ... be this age ... like a boy ... fight with your friend ... have a monstorous zit." And I know that to them, I will sound like Charlie Brown's teacher "Wah, wa, wah, wa..." So I hope that maybe they will come upon something, a book, a poem, a blog, that is as inspirational as the following one and take something, anything, to heart from it. From the moment I heard those words I pray for my girls that they will grow to be healthy, happy, strong women. I pray that they will have all of the right influences in their lives to succeed in all the right ways.

To Thine Own Self Be True.

Laurel's addiction

Hello. My name is Laurel and I'm addicted to my little sister, Cadence. I ask for her first thing when I wake up and I can't go to bed without giving her a kiss. I have ignored my parents, big sister, friends, and grandparents to be with Cadence. I would probably skip baton and recess just to hang out with her. When Cadence is within my reach, I can't help myself but to grab her and squeeze her and love her... even when she screams and wants me to let go. My parents thought it was simply a novelty to have a little sister in my life and eventually I would become bored with Cadence, but that hasn't happened at all. As each day goes by I think my addiction to her grows even stronger!

Surgery #2

My girl loves to smile! Big, cheesy, wide-open, "hey, you gotta smile back at me" kinda grins! Yes, it's bigger than usual due to her cleft, but beyond that, she puts her heart and soul into her smile. I believe one of Cadence's top priorities is to make people laugh... and she succeeds! People have said "She'll be beautiful when she gets her lip fixed". Yes, they have actually said this - to me! Regardless of the complete ignorance and rudeness of this statement I do realize that there are general "norms" that society considers "beautiful". Typically having a two centimeter gap in your lip doesn't fall in this category. But dang it, Cadence is beautiful!! Her eyes, her heart, her laugh, and her smile!



The day finally came to have her cleft lip repaired. I was nervous because surgery will always make a parent nervous. However, I was more nervous about the change to take place. Before I had children I remember a co-worker telling me that she grieved when her child had his cleft lip repaired. It seemed strange to me because of course he looked "cuter" once it was done, right? I get it now. Since the day I saw Cadence's picture in April I have loved everything about her. Now, one of her biggest, most shining characteristics was going to change. It would be an adjustment.

Cadence giving her cheesiest smile pre-op!

Below: When she's anxious she sucks on her blanket... soon that will be a little harder for her.

Gettin' goofy after some versed!

The surgery went great and the doctor was happy. He placed stents in her nose that will come out next week when he takes her stitches out. Surgery took about 3 hours and we were very excited to be able to go home the same day (it pays to have two nurses in the house!). It was shocking to see her. Her mouth is so tiny! I know there is swelling and that will subside and with time things will stretch, etc. Wow! What a difference! When we were driving home she looked so relaxed so I got my camera to take her picture. Without missing a beat, she cheesed it up! She wrinkled her nose and squinted her eyes. Her poor mouth didn't move at all, but I could still see her beautiful smile in there! Despite all of the obstacles this girl has gone through in her short life, joy is in her soul!

Finding ad

When a child is abandoned in China and then at some point deemed ready to be adopted, a finding ad is placed in the paper. This tells the child's approximate (or possibly known - if there was some kind of note) birthdate, where they were found, what date they were found, their sex and any "characteristics of the body". This is to give the parents an opportunity to reclaim their child. I'm guessing this is a very rare event. Sometimes when you meet your child in China the orphanage will give you a copy of their finding ad. When ours did not I contacted someone who obtains finding ads for families who have adopted.

We have so little of Cadence's first 16 months of life. The original 4 pictures from her referral, the 20 pictures from the camera I sent to the orphanage, and the memory book that her nannies made for her. Anything we can get so that she will know a little of her past is so important. I had someone ask me once if we would tell her she was abandoned. Cadence will have so many questions about her life before us that I can't imagine keeping anything from her. As difficult as the knowledge may be, it is her past and will shape the person she becomes. Although I am happy to have a small piece of her life, my heart breaks that it is her story. I cried when I opened the paper and I cried as I looked at each of the 17 children listed. I pray that each of them will find themselves in a parent's loving arms soon. I cried when I saw that she had "nothing" listed under "items found with her". I pray that her birth parents somehow sense that she is safe, warm, and loved now. When she is old enough we will look at this together and I pray that as she grows she will be at peace with her story.























Cadence is in the middle.

Merry Christmas!

I bought these stocking hangers over 8 years ago and prayed that one day we would fill them. So happy that this year the dog's doesn't take up the "E"!

The Christmas spread.

Here are my pretty and sometimes super silly girls before church! Cadence cracks herself up!

We had a wonderful "first Christmas" as our family of 5! A fabulously relaxing day of gift giving, karaoke singing, and family snuggling! Sierra and Laurel waited until our 7:30 wake-up time to get us and Cadence up. Cadence's "big" present was an adorable pink chair. She loves to sit in/on things her size and I have always wanted to get one of these for the kids. Regardless of how many stools or boxes she sits on, she is underwhelmed by the chair! I think the cats have enjoyed it more! Cadence mostly observed the gift opening in the morning. I think she was still a little tired.

Sierra got Playstation 3's SingStar Dance and she has not done much else except perfect her Lady GaGa impersonation since then. Great! I'm wishing that there was a more age appropriate version for her, but we'll monitor as we go. She loves it though and Cadence "sings" into the microphone every chance she gets. One of Laurel's favorite gifts was an art set from her gramma. Girlfriend loves to draw!

Never thought I'd hear Brad singing Soulja Boy!

Cadence perfects her pitch!

We had our wonderful french toast casserole then lounged around watching Christmas shows. Eventually we all snuggled into our bed for lots of giggling and laughing. The feeling of love and warmth was my favorite gift of the day!

First snow!

I'm from Ohio. I'm used to having snow dumped on us and looking at it for months until it finally melts away. I moved to Virginia to get away from that. Until last year, generally we'd get a dusting of snow or a couple of inches and it would be gone the next day or two. Then the snow insanity of 2009/2010 hit! Three huge snow storms shut the area down for weeks, power was out for days, people were stranded in cars overnight, and the snow stayed. We waged bets on when Mt.Chipotle would melt (the HUGE snowpile in the shopping center parking lot). I predicted my birthday, April 28th, and was only off by a few days. It was madness! And a fluke, I hoped!

We got our first snowfall last week. The kids had two snow days and we had a ball sledding. I'm sure Cadence saw her share of snow out the window in Inner Mongolia, but considering that they like their children sweltering hot in China, I'm doubtful she ever got to see the white stuff up close. I'm not sure if she was unsure about the snow or her outfit ("I can't put my arms down!" kept running through my head!) but she warmed up quickly and joined in the fun!

What is this stuff? And you want me to do what with it, Mom?!

This is kinda like a rickshaw!

I think I got this now!

Sierra making me nervous. Cadence LOVING the sledding!!!

Hearing the kids laugh and play in the snow makes me think it's ok if it snows again... one more time this year!