Homeschool "learning experience"

You know those times when you can completely predict how something is going to go down?  You see the path and know that there is no way that you can change the direction.  Yes.  That's what homeschooling was for me.  Maybe that is why Sierra's last day at school in December was so hard.  I even told friends back then that I anticipated how homeschooling would go for us.  I would have these grand plans in my head that wouldn't come to fruition and then I would be frustrated.  I had intended to do science experiments outside, create unique art projects,  listen to NPR pod casts and have good discussions about them, pick a country to explore and immerse ourselves in, learn and teach all things photography and cooking, give Sierra the opportunity to read aloud to Cadence and Laurel's classes.  Gosh, that sounds like such an AMAZING homeschool experience, don't you think?!  I was gonna rock this thing!  Or rather, I was going to think a lot about rocking this thing, not follow through on most of it, and then feel like a huge failure.  Yep.  That's how it went down.

I do realize that it's not that black and white.  Very shortly after our homeschooling adventure started Sierra missed her friends.  There aren't many kids her age who live close by and can just pop on over to say hello and she doesn't have a phone to text.  Our plans for her to start back at karate were put on hold when I went to Africa in February and, despite my efforts, it was challenging to find tween aged homeschoolers to connect with.  Sierra missed being around people her own age.  Homeschooling quickly lost it's appeal and by February she wanted to go back to school.  But, we had committed to try for the remainder of the year so we forged ahead. 

Unfortunately, as with most disgruntled pre-teens, it was difficult to pull enthusiasm from her.  Most of my suggestions (for those rockin' homeschool plans) were met with complaints, moans, and groans.  Sierra fell asleep as we listened to NPR pod casts.  She balked at reading aloud to her sisters' classes.  She definitely did not want to learn about any countries that I brought up.  It was frustrating for both of us.  So much that, in one particular "mom of the year" moment, I actually said that I was going to homeschool both her and her sister next year - as a threat!  Yes, it was that good.  Additionally, having Laurel in school made things even more difficult.  On a few occasions we had a bit of a groove going and then - BAM - snow day (or 5 or 6).  Of course Sierra wasn't going to do school work while Laurel was home playing.  For some reason it was so hard to pick up where we left off when Laurel went back to school.  I did learn something new about myself too.  I suck at structure.  Like, majorly suck!  And Sierra craved structure to her days and weeks.  Not a good match.

It hasn't been completely horrible.  Sierra took a fabulous art class that she really enjoyed. We've been able to do a few baking/cooking projects that she wanted to do. She has enjoyed less work focused days when she was able to hang out with friends.  It was some of these times with her friends that sort of clinched it for me.  Watching her smile, laugh, and brighten up when her friends were around made me realize the impact that social interaction has on her.  It made me realize that despite all of the things that I worry about socially in middle school (we've all been there, you know what I mean!) there are things that I cannot give her at home.  I think part of me hoped that by homeschooling her I could protect her a little longer from all of the drama that I loathe to think about my girls going through.  Give her a chance to grow into her own person a little more before exposing her to what everyone else thinks she should be.  But, it might do her more harm than good as well as the fact that neither of us is enjoying the process at all.  As a very wise friend said to me today, I need to have faith.  I need to have faith in Sierra. Faith that despite cutbacks at the school she will learn and grow and thrive.  Faith that, with our support and love, she will make the right choices and find her own way and her own happiness.  Faith that even when my kids are out of my reach, that they will be okay. 

Christmas 2012, first communion, and parenting picture fail

First communion, baptisms, major life events, I've got pictures galore.  Any given Christmas, too many pictures to upload.  Christmas + first communion at the same time = complete parenting fail in the photo department!  There are no Christmas Eve family pictures in our festive outfits or even one of the girls in their new pajammas in front of the tree or putting out cookies for Santa.  We have one... count that, ONE... picture of Laurel taking her first communion.  We have no pictures of Laurel and the family with the pastor.  Honestly, there aren't even too many pictures of Christmas day.  I'm not really sure what happened here!

Moving past that, the events of December 24th and 25th were wonderful!  Laurel has been preparing for communion for a while now and it was moving to watch my dad assist the pastor in offering her the bread and wine at the Christmas Eve service.  Laurel beautifully sang a solo during the evening and Sierra did an amazing job performing two readings.  Sierra forgot to officially end her reading.  She came back and sat down as everyone remained still and quiet.  Brad pointed out the ending to her in the program and without hesitation she ran back up and said "Word of God. Word of Life" and then ran back to her seat!  She was a little embarrassed, but was able to laugh at the silliness of the situation!

My parents were staying for later Christmas Eve services so we didn't have a typical gathering like we usually would for first communion. We came back home joined by our friend and her daughter, Laurel.  Together, Laurel and Laurel read the "Night Before Christmas", we made reindeer food to put on the lawn, and enjoyed eggnog and cookies.

Christmas morning was wonderful to hear the excitement of all of the girls.  Sierra worked so hard on paintings for each family member, Laurel wrapped up quite a few of her own toys to give as gifts, Cadence went to town opening any package within arm's reach, and I was surprised and excited to get a blue box from Brad!  Typically we at least head to my parents' house for part of the day and sometimes then up to see Brad's family, but this year the grandparents came to our house.  It was wonderful to not have to go anywhere for the day and still get to celebrate with our families!  Despite dreary weather the kids spent quite a bit of time outdoors trying out their new toys (and so did I!).  I guess I will just have to try to keep the mental log of my memories since I have so few paper ones.  The fact, though, that we had too memories to keep up with to photograph them all... well, I'm okay with that!

Laurel's first communion

As soon as we sat down in church Cadence opened her bubble wrap bag, took off her shoes, and slipped on her penguin slippers.  Girlfriend demands comfort!

Getting ready to read

Brad is really getting ready to pet Shiloh, despite how this looks!

Reading the same book that I read as child

And the stockings were hung by the chimney with care...

Christmas morning chaos

Mini Rip Rider

Once she figured out how to spin there was no stopping her! Okay, the car stopped her, but she had her helmet on!

Everybody rides...

Round two with the grandparents.  The kids weren't excited at all!

Is my washing machine off balance?

We had an earthquake here.  The problem is - this is Virginia!  I was sitting at my computer home when I heard a loud shaking noise.  First thought - "Is my washing machine off balance?".  As the whole house started to tremble I realized it was an earthquake.  I quickly ran upstairs, grabbed Cadence who was napping, and ran out of the house to safety with her.  No, wait... that's what I SHOULD have done!  Instead, I sat there in my chair in complete shock.  Didn't move... not an inch.  Wow!  This is what has been haunting me the most.  Where was my maternal instinct?  Why didn't I spring into action, some kind of action, any kind of action, to "save" my family?   When I was 19 years old heading back to Ohio from Florida during spring break our car went off the road and flipped over into a creek.  As the water rushed in I felt sure that I would drown and I sat there pulling at the door handle trying to get it open.  The door didn't budge until some guy was knocking on the window yelling "Unlock the door!".  I realized at that time that I had a difficult time keeping my senses about me when fight or flight response kicked in.  I had just assumed though, that when those I love were in danger, some sort of better, smarter instinct would kick in.  I think that a large part of me assumed that the earthquake would end quickly and harmlessly, like the tremor we had when I was at a playgroup 8 years ago.  I sat in my chair thinking "This will stop any second" having no idea that it would last at least 60 seconds.  Luckily for us the only casualty was a favorite vase.  Cadence seemed unfazed when my shaking legs finally supported me enough to go get her from her crib.  The girls were at school and were a little scared but still felt it was more of an adventure than anything (although they aren't feeling that way about these aftershocks coming at 1am).  Any tips for keeping it together during a catastrophe?!

My favorite vase

Sierra's dresser

Cadence's room

This may have actually been caused by Hurricane Cadence

Cadence thinks that even when the roof is coming down you should look good!