Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Moose with a muffin... mom with a mission

This is what my kitchen table looks like right now.  Paper chains for each of the girls to countdown the days until I come home, organizing Sierra's school work for the next week'ish, papers to come with me, papers to say home.  Oh, yeah, and knitting.  Because I decided that now is the perfect time to learn to knit.  Duh!  

I feel a bit like I did before we went to China.  I feel like a squirrel on crack.  Or a moose with a muffin.  Depending on what room I'm in or what bag I open, I'm reminded of something else that I need to do or to pack, someone else that I need to call or get something from or take something to.  Before tomorrow.  Before 10am tomorrow.  Oye.

I've spend the majority of the last week preparing things to make sure the kids are set before I leave.  Schedules to all of the wonderful people who will be taking care of them, phone numbers of all possible sitters/back-up care for Brad, Valentine's Day stuff, etc, etc, etc.  I've been trying to compensate for the guilt that I feel about leaving my family for 11 days.  Ridiculous, I know.  It's not like I'm going to a spa for a week (although how A-W-E-S-O-M-E would that be?!).  It's a medical mission for crying out loud!  I've been struggling with this since I was invited to go to Uganda a month ago.  Taking so much time away from my family to do something that I want to do.  Oh, the mommy-guilt!  Today, though, a friend gave me a send of note.  She wrote:

mis-sion-ary (noun)
someone who leave their family for a short time
so that others may be with their families for eternity

It brought me back and helped me feel centered about the journey ahead.  I am so lucky and honored to help these children who wouldn't have this chance to have heart surgeries without this group.  How can I feel guilty about that?

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