Wednesday, July 25, 2012

What is this world coming to?

Sierra made this radio.  Cadence listens to it occasionally but otherwise it's more of a small piece of art.  Something to sit on Sierra's dresser and look pretty.  I was getting Cadence dressed Saturday morning as she pushed knobs and turned buttons on it.  Mostly static, a few song notes floating through, and then a voice.  "...massacre at the movie theatre.  At least twelve people killed and 60 more wounded."  It was surreal.  I couldn't put together that what the voice was saying was reality as it came out of a child's toy radio, Sierra's art work. 

My first thought, of course, was "Why would someone do this?" followed by "What is this world coming to?"  There are no answers to either question.  There are answers and theories as to why people snap and lose all perception of what a human life is that would cause them to do this.  But I don't think any of those answers can satisfy.  Nothing can justify this loss of so many lives.

I generally avoid the news. I don't want to know about these horrible events or abused and starving children or politicians who are lying.  Then I feel irresponsible for not being aware of these things.  So I try to take it in but so often it just sucks.  The helplessness and inability to change what needs to be changed... it sucks.  I hate that feeling.  So I put my head back in the sand.

As for what the world is coming to... I feel like my grandmother.  When she would hear of events like these and say this,  I'd inwardly shake my head at the romanticized version of how she remembered her life.  Bad things have always happened, but as I get older I do realize that life is different from when she was my age.  I remember her stating once that it was selfish to bring children into the world nowadays.  I thought it was ridiculous at the time, but after 9/11 I talked to my dad about it, wondering if she might be right.  His words were poignant and I've never forgotten them.  He said "There will always be bad people in this world, always have been.  That is why we need good people like you to raise children.  You need to raise the good people to counteract the bad."

I won't lie, it scares me to death to think that my kids can be going to see a movie or just attending school on a regular day and the worst tragedy of our lives can strike.  But when the terror and tragedies of the world seem like too much I remember my dad's words.  This is why I am here and my kids are here... so that there is more good than bad in this world.  People out there will leave their horrible mark behind, but I will make sure that my kids leave a positive, wonderful, rainbow filled mark.  And that will be why I've brought children into this world.

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