When people would ask about it I would say I was nervous but "it will be fine". This is my standard answer when I am trying to convince myself that things will work out but in the back of my mind worry that my world might come crashing down. Dramatic? Yes. But I can't help it. For some reason, though, I have felt a great sense of peace this past week when thinking about Cadence's cath. I say "It will be fine" and actually believe those words. I'm more focused on the challenge of
Monday, October 15, 2012
Cadence's cath tomorrow
Last summer I was stunned when we learned that Cadence had an ASD (a hole in heart). We waited a year to see if it would close on it's own. This summer, as I suspected, there was no change. Thankfully (very thankfully!) it can be closed in the cath lab. This means that instead of open heart surgery, they will go into a major vessel in her groin and guide a device up into her heart. They put the device through the hole in her heart and then it opens up like an umbrella and closes the hole. Sounds simple, right? Of course, knowing what I know can be hard. The one in a million, freakishly gone wrong, "wow, we've never seen that happen" type of things that I see in my daily job. It is these images that would take my breath away when I have thought about this procedure for the past year.
When people would ask about it I would say I was nervous but "it will be fine". This is my standard answer when I am trying to convince myself that things will work out but in the back of my mind worry that my world might come crashing down. Dramatic? Yes. But I can't help it. For some reason, though, I have felt a great sense of peace this past week when thinking about Cadence's cath. I say "It will be fine" and actually believe those words. I'm more focused on the challenge offorcing convincing her to lie flat for six hours after the procedure (due to the large catheter that they put in her vein) than the "what if's" that usually creep into my thoughts. I feel thankful for that feeling and for the fact that this can indeed be done without open heart surgery. That said, I would welcome prayers, chants, incense burning, dancing in your living room with underwear on your head, or whatever you do that can send some good vibes Cadence's way. Thank you!
When people would ask about it I would say I was nervous but "it will be fine". This is my standard answer when I am trying to convince myself that things will work out but in the back of my mind worry that my world might come crashing down. Dramatic? Yes. But I can't help it. For some reason, though, I have felt a great sense of peace this past week when thinking about Cadence's cath. I say "It will be fine" and actually believe those words. I'm more focused on the challenge of
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Stacy- I still have your blog bookmarked and follow it regularly. With that being said, I have not worked a day of peds since I finished there at UVa when Declan was 3mnths old way back in 2009. But I understand exactly where you are coming from and I believe by being PICU nurses, we all tend to over think things (even the littlest things) because of what we've been exposed to. Just try to take it with the idea that because we were PICU nurses, we saw what most others would never even imagine possible to happen to a child, but that does not mean that something like that will happen to our children. Declan had to have bilateral hernia surgery this summer when we weren't able to reduce a hernia on our own. Knowing what both Kevin and I know and that it is a very common surgery, etc. the PICU mindset still crept up on me. All the what if's and the anesthesia what if's that were running through Kevin's mind. I think what helped us back into reality and the mindset of "parent" vs "healthcare provider" was when one of Kevin's coworkers said to him- "You're the parent today. That's all your responsibility today. Take a deep breath and love on your child like he's your child and don't view him as a patient." May everything go smoothly for you all and soon Cadence will be back to her bubbly self!
ReplyDeleteWe will all be thinking of you guys tomorrow. Already said a couple prayers. Sending virtual hugs my friend.
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