Tuesday, January 22, 2013

My intention for 2013

I've posted before how I feel about New Year's resolutions.  Essentially I'm not a big fan.  They feel like a set-up for failure.  (Probably because mine aren't always realistic.) 

The day after Alyssa died a mylar balloon landed in our yard with a note attached to it.  The note said "Judy, love you, miss you, wish you were here with me. Bob" I couldn't help but wonder if Alyssa was hanging out with Judy up there watching where the balloon landed.  I posted this on my facebook page.  An old co-worker of mine, Kate, responded that her "dad is Bob and her mom was Judy".  I remember when my co-worker quit work to go be with her mom when her mom was diagnosed with a terminal illness. I have thought about Kate often, especially when she had a baby, knowing the ache she must feel with her own mom not there to see her grandchild.  Kate told me that her dad had just released a balloon about a month before this (though not the same one).

I could look at this as just a crazy coincidence.  I could brush it off and say "Wow, that was weird!" But it doesn't feel that way.  I was moved that this "event" touched Kate and as my heart was breaking about Alyssa it brought me a little comfort to think about how all of these people could intertwine. I remember hearing a phrase once about "God whispers".  That little voice in the back of your head that is so easy to ignore, but if you slow down, stop, and listen you may hear so much more.

What does this have to do with New Year's resolutions?  Another friend that I admire wrote something in response to that same Facebook post.  "One of my intentions for the new year is to pay attention to all the small miracles and mysteries - like this. They are so abundant and so inspirational."  I love the word "intentions".  It sounds less daunting than "resolutions".  I love the idea of being more mindful and aware of each moment and the small things that happen everyday and go unnoticed.  Therefore, my intention for this year is to listen and observe for these miracles, these God-whispers, and keep them close to my heart.

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